This one has some references you don't want to miss.
Blizzard has brought us another issue of The Gadgetzan Gazette which keeps rolling out despite the expansion having already released. While they certainly aren't necessary, this one does sport some of the best advertisements yet including a reference to Mysterious Challenger and SI:7 Agent. We've transcribed the text below:
Bank Burgled - Clever Crooks Clear Out Coffer
By: Chief Investigative Reporter Dora R
A group of armed hooligans riding a huge armored kodo emptied one of the First Bank of Gadgetzan's vaults during a daring daylight raid today. Several crates of jade antiques, a quantity of Arcane Dust, and bizarrely, a number of un-used Hearthstone deck boxes, were taken in the robbery.
The suspects, described as a bunch of ruffians wearing brown hats and vests with orange ties, rode an enormous heavily armored kodo through an exterior wall of the First Bank of Gadgetzan and directly into a high-security bank vault. The destruction triggered the bank's anti-theft mechanisms, dropping anti-kodo bars across all doorways in the building. The bars prevented the bank's Bruisers from reaching the boisterous bandits, who reportedly took their time to swim in piles of gold coins, make rude gestures, and repeatedly exclaim "Astounding" and "Astonishing", before disappearing into the city with the valuables.
The new owner of the bank, a two-headed ogre by the name of Han'Cho was strangely calm in the wake of the robbery. The ogre's mustachioed right head, Han, spoke for them both, "Hey, it's a bank.
You put a bunch of valuables all in one place and it's only natural that somebody's gonna try to take it. These things happen right? Fortunately, the First Bank of Gadgetzan is prepared to offer low interest loans to bank customers who are urgently in need of funds, and insurance to cover losses in case of theft. Terms and conditions may apply, of course." The Blackpaw family, whose valuables were stored in the vault, released a simple statement, "We are confident that the one responsible for this vile act with be found and punished. Severely."
Some think the robbery was an inside job. One bank employee agreed to speak with us solely on the condition of anonymity about the robbery. The employee, who is a 3'3" male goblin, with a tattoo of a coin on his wrist and a scar above his left eye was quoted as saying "C'mooon. How'd they know which wall to knock down?
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Tuskarr Bros. Under Investigation!
Funnel Cakes Fake?
Fraudulent Foodstuffs Found?
Gadgetzan Mega Market officials announced today that all seventeen Tuskarr Bros. Funnel Cakes franchises located in the shopping district's world famous Food Kingdom are under investigation for peddling fraudulent foodstuffs, and have been closed pending the results of the investigation.
An unpaid and wholly independent investigator made a statement, "The preliminary results of our investigation of the Tuskarr Bros. conglomerate of food shacks are very concerning. Mega Market customers are becoming seriously ill and we blame Mayor Noggenfogger. His irresponsible lack of regulation is allowing hucksters like Tuskarr Bros. to sell substandard funnel cake to the public. Look at this one! The meat is obviously under-cooked! The Tuskarr Bros. also claim that all their funnel cake is freshly picked, but this pathetic example has wilted leaves and seems to be made out of plaster. Food of this quality is unacceptable for the Gadgetzan Mega Market, and it's unacceptable for our fine city." A spokesperson for the Mega Market revealed plans to replace the Tuskarr Bros. franchises with new Mega Market branded funnel cake stands offering ice-cold Kaza-kola to thirsty customers.
While the shop closure has burned the Tuskarr Bros., their competitors haven't been loafing around. New shops have risen across the city, seemingly overnight. From high-end shops catering to the upper crust with dough to spare, down to more affordable options, the new businesses are proof that there's a knead in Gadgetzan for hot new pastry providers.
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